The Adventures of MarioDad and Little DS
by iamladyliberty
Summary: a/n: Another LJ drabble meme prompt: Mila's DayDream Blog, PuckleBerry Style. Or, where Rachel discovers her husband's secret online alter ego.


a/n: Another LJ drabble meme prompt: Mila's DayDream Blog. Warning, story might not make sense if you don't visit blog first.

http:/ milasdaydreams. blogspot. com

* * *

She actually cries in the kitchen as she tells Santana about the 'little moment' she just witnessed between their husbands.

It's hard to find the words to explain what it _meant_ after she recounted what had happened.

"It's just, San, it's like the two of them are just the sweetest men in the world. And hearing them together," she sighs, "it was such a beautiful moment of acceptance and celebration of all we've been through, how well and how long we've all known each other, how happy we all are for each other with what we've become together despite the past, and well, just everything."

She had gone down to the basement to offer the boys beer and carrot sticks.

She'd paused in the doorway with the tray in her hands when she heard Finn's reverent whisper, "They're perfect..." and Noah's equally awestruck tone as he answered, "I know".

"What's perfect?" she'd asked. Both men jumped.

Finn turned around slowly, wearing his panicked deer in headlights expression, "Uh...the...uhhhh"

Noah was still facing the worktable and shuffling some things around. "Come see, Baby"

She walked over and set the tray down on the far end. Turning to look at his latest creation, she gasped at the 5 perfect triangles of plywood, spray painted a shimmering gold and arranged to form a perfect star. "Oh, Noah, it's so beautiful."

Finn spun around and his eyes went wide, while her husband just swung his arm around her and explained, "I thought it could maybe go up on the wall in Shira's room. Never too early for the big metaphors, right?"

"Noah." She grabbed her husband's face and pulled him in for a deep kiss until Finn cleared his throat.

Right, more rewarding later. Hostessing now. "I brought you both an afternoon snack while you worked down- Oh, are these extra, are you making more than one star?" She picked up a triangle piece off the top of a stack of about 4 more which it looked like Noah had pushed to the side.

Noah dove and grabbed it from her hands, sounding a bit alarmed. "No, no baby, those are just...test pieces. Don't worry about them." He led her back to the stairs, "I'm thinking I'll hang the star up later this week in the nursery, 'kay?"

"Thank you, Noah. You're an amazing Daddy." With one last kiss, she'd dashed upstairs to find Santana.

Santana looks a little doubtful when hearing about the absolute _sincerity_ of those boys, but in the end just gives her this moment.

* * *

She opens the linen closet one night and finds that Noah seems to have re-organized. Their sage bath mats and hand towels are now sitting on top of each other, and the embossed his & her towel set from Pottery Barn in 'Quarry Stone'-which she added to their registry because it would complement the other neutrals in the marbled master bath-now are one shelf above normal. Where she normally keeps the extra lichen sheet set for the guest bedroom.

She's not angry or anything. Good Lord, she knows that he's a prince for enduring her over-enthusiasm towards the _'everything has it's place'_ adage, and these linens are clearly still here in their appropriate storage location. There's no need to mention it to him.

It's just a bit...odd.

* * *

"Hey Rach?" Noah called from upstairs. "Do you know where we put that souvenir baseball bat from last year when your dads and I took Shira to her first Indians Game?"

"Umm, yeah...," she stirred the sauce on the stove while she thought for a moment. "I think it's in one of the big green toy bins you bought for the playroom, you know, the round ones? I'm not sure which sized one it's in though. Maybe the tallest?"

"Thanks, Babe!"

"I wonder why he's looking for that," she murmurs to herself. Then the timer for the pasta goes off, and she's hauling the pot to the sink before the farfalle can get mushy.

* * *

Six weeks before her birthday, she discovers a mostly used roll of tiffany blue wrapping paper stuffed in between the magenta fleece blankets they bring with them wherever Shira goes. The blanket color was Noah's very smart idea of a compromise over how much girly-girl they were aiming for, _'pink but badass pink'_ he liked to say. There's also some thick ribbon in a very electric blue.

Shuddering at the eye-popping combination of paper and trim, she makes a mental note to start practicing her 'I'm not wincing, I'm just excited Honey!' smile after the shower starting tomorrow morning.

On the way out of the den, she trips on one of the trio of stuffed toy pumpkins Shira loves. She could have sworn she already put alway all of the Halloween decorations.

But, hmmm, it's entirely possible that she'd made an in-the-moment decision that the plush pumpkins could stay out as part of the larger harvest time cornucopia arrangement she's been planning for Thanksgiving. That would make sense.

Which reminds her, she needs to order an oversize horn...

* * *

"Noah, are you almost done on the computer? I feel like you've been replying to your emails all night and I really wanted to take advantage of Shira's going down so early..." she trails off huskily, posing in the doorway of the living room.

"What, babe?" He startles, slamming down the screen of his laptop. "Sorry, just a lot of messages and I..." he finally looks up and takes in her red satin nightgown. "Yeah, those fuckers can wait. You look so hot." He springs off the couch to grab her.

"Those what, Noah? You mean our friends and family? Or were you sneaking in work tonight?"

"No! Baby, not working, never mind. Can we just-" he sucks hotly on that place behind her ear before scooping her up. "Let's go. Bedroom. Now."

* * *

"Noah, darling- while I understand that we, as city-dwellers, do not presently own a vehicle," she begins diplomatically, "I am not sure that substituting servicing on the Bugaboos with Finn is a necessary chore for this weekend. And did you really order rims? For our _stroller_, Noah? Rims?"

"Oh, c'mon baby, let us guys have fun with our rides. We're gonna handle the babies on Saturday too while you and San do that 'Pampered not Pampers' moms package at the spa that we got you."

"That was very sweet of you two."

"Hey, we love our hot mommas." He leers, "Now come kiss me a good thank you."

* * *

"Ahh, quiet."

She sits down at the kitchen table with a cup of tea and her laptop. Noah had to head in for a rare Saturday at work to finalize a client presentation for Monday. So while Shira takes her afternoon nap, she plans on catching up on her internet time.

Opening her favorite message boards into tabs, she clicks over to see what's been happening on 'Park Slope Parents' and starts scanning recent posts.

Most of it seems to be the same 'seeking nursery school recs' and 'new warning about [insert food here] in your child's diet' brouhahas, but one thread caught her eye: 'HELP! My husband is obsessed with MarioDad!'

Having become _extremely_ well-versed over the years with her own husband's theories about how Super Mario Brothers changed civilization, her interest was piqued. Clicking through, she began to read:

_Ladies! I need your help. My husband is obsessed with MarioDad and has been ransacking our apartment and my craft closet trying to build the perfect shot to impress him. It's been Halo-themed chaos here for the past two weeks, and he's trying to turn my sweet baby boy into a first person __**shooter**__. Shooter!_

_Does anyone else have this problem or any advice? Should I try to contact MarioDad? Does anyone know his wife StarWorld? How does she deal with this insanity?_

_Any assistance you can give me to go on here would be amazing. _

_-Boxedin360_

_Hi Boxedin,_

_Sorry to hear about your troubles, but my husband and I love MarioDad. (we met online.) He's so creative and clever. So much so that he's still completely anonymous and StarWorld's identity is also a mystery. (though what a lucky woman!) _

_My advice-just roll with it and let your DH have his fun. MarioDad is good about replying to comments and discouraging anything that sounds too dangerous for the kids. Just let it play out. The pics will seem downright charming when your boy's a rebellious teenager, trust me. I have 3 of them._

_-NoSleepinBrooklyn_

_Hey NoSleep + Boxedin,_

_Big MarioDad fan here, did you see his latest update (linked: here)? So adorable. He keeps getting better and better! _

_I wish we knew who he was, we'd love to have them in our Brunch Bunch._

_-Momsjustwannahavefun78_

_Ladies!_

_I totally know what you mean. Love MarioDad, but my hubby's mancrush on him is getting embarrassing. He's asked for photography classes at the Learning Annex for Christmas so he can 'level up on his shot composition' and whines when no one comments on his submissions to the MD fanforum. _

_I preferred the days when he wanted me for sex instead of 'validation as an artist'. Wonder how StarWorld does it._

_-LovernotaStreetFighter_

_Paging StarWorld! _

_We all clearly need your help. We don't even have kids but my partner is so obsessed with yours that he's gotten our Chocolate Lab involved, and Maxine does not appreciate her new cape. _

_Can MarioDad do a meet and greet event, maybe like on a Sunday at The Gate? If your husband's just an average, kinda geeky Slope dad, maybe all of ours will stop acting like he's, and I quote, 'a Thor in our midst'. _

_I miss being the #1 man in his life._

_-MaxiesDaddy01_

She laughed to herself about the dramatics of Park Slope parents, whose woes and ways often made her feel comparatively sane.

She wondered if Noah had heard of this MarioDad guy, it seemed like something he'd enjoy. Though maybe it would be wise for her to preview it before recommending, given all those comments. Just in case.

She scrolled back up and clicked on the latest update link, which brought her to a blog entitled 'The Adventures of MarioDad and Little DS'. The description read 'Capturing the intersection of awesomeness: where I combine a few of my favorite things'. Wow, she smiled at the SoM reference, liking this guy already.

The smile gave as her jaw dropped lower and lower with each photo entry.

_Her Child_, in red overalls and a painters cap, squatting on top of her tallest green toy bin, reaching up towards the box with a question mark above her head while some plant matter emerged from a neighboring bin.

_Her Child_, in stained and torn cloths and a mini baseball bat over her shoulder, standing wobbily in the center of the shot surrounded by her entire collection of Ugly Dolls from Tina and Mike splayed out like carnage in grotesque positions all over the playroom floor.

_Her Child_, in khakis, an army tee, and her baby ski goggles pushed up on her forehead, sitting on what could only be their guest room bed built up with their bath towels to resemble a Humvee, shooting _black marshmallows out of a machine gun crafted from paper towel and toilet tissue tubes_!

_Her Child_, again in the overalls, positioned to seem mid-stride on the floor, between 3 rows of magenta blankets connected by TIFFANY BLUE LADDERS while PUMPKINS squashed and tied with ELECTRIC BLUE RIBBON descended from her beloved STUFFED MONKEY!

_Her Child_, in her Disney Princess outfit and clutching a Wii steering wheel, propped up in the Bugaboo Underseat Bag, sporty wheels edging out _Santana's Child_, positioned in the undercarriage of his own stroller, wearing his Aladdin vest, a diaper, and a red polka-dotted shower cap!

and perhaps the Most Infuriating Photo Ever:

_Her Child_, in her Leprechaun outfit from St. Patrick's Day with the big gold buckle and matching green hat, clutching a small wooden SWORD while laying in the middle of GOLD TRIANGLES DECIDEDLY NOT SHAPED INTO STARS!

Stars...stars...OhMyGod, OhMyGod, she was StarWorld.

SHE WAS STARWORLD.

She was StarWorld and she was married to a secret lunatic who played secret dress up with their child, took secret pictures, and posted them on a secret blog where he answered messages from his secret fans.

So distracted was she by the sheer lunacy of her husband that she failed to hear him come home until-

"Oh, shit. Baby, I can explain!"

20 minutes of crossed arms and death glares later, he concluded his babbling "And it was just like having special times with me and little Dope Shira, and sometimes Finn helping out like it was back in the day again, and then all these people fell in love with her too, and it just got a little out of control."

"You named me StarWorld?"

"Baby, you _know_ you're StarWorld- unbelievably amazing level you've gotta work hard to unlock that's unlike anything you've ever seen before. You've always been StarWorld to me. You _know_ this."

"So I'm just supposed to be okay with all of this...this...this _virtual insanity_, Noah?"

"Would it help if I told you the Google Adwords on the blog have already paid for Shira's college?"

"What!"

"Okay, um... how 'bout the fact that we're up for a Webbie?"

"Really? You're telling me that you've actually been nominated for official recognition?"

"Totally, Baby. With a real life awards show to attend, red carpet and everything. I was gonna tell you next week so you could save the date."

"Red carpet? And I'm your date?"

"'Course you're my date. There's no MarioDad without StarWorld. I'd just be some single fuck up still stuck in Lima without you, Rach."

"Oh, Noah. My 'Thor' amongst men."

"C'mon, Baby, take me upstairs so I can feast on those Golden Apples."

* * *

Thanks to Callmeeskimo for the awesome prompt, which begged me to invert it. Could you guys guess all the game references?


End file.
